Day 11 of 100 days of Me - decisions, decisions, decisions

Day 11 of 100 - decisions, decisions, decisions

Never let anyone tell you how to live your life, it's called your life for a reason. You make the decisions... AND you live with the consequences....

One of my mother's favourite quotes growing up for me was, "you made your bed, now lie in it"... best choose our bedding carefully.... (that end part is my own ;))

It is not so easy to get through each day, and not question one's choices, actions and thoughts.
Where we should be positive and accepting, I find it too easy to slip back into questioning if I've done the right thing, made the right choice.

In fact, I'll go through an entire thought process of beginning with confidence, slipping down into perhaps it wasn't the best thing to do, into gosh that was really not thought out well, asking myself why did I do that, right into the defiant "F it", It's done, what can I do about it now? Certainly worrying isn't changing anything... :)

Yes, it is insanity.  Am I alone in this self doubting, questioning behaviour? Likely not.

One of the hardest decisions you'll ever face in life is choosing to whether to walk away or try harder... I toil with this one on a fairly regular basis, be it about work, home, or a relationship.

The JOURNEY though, is most important, so focus on this, accepting our choices and appreciating the lessons along the way, is all a part of living fully.

 Responsibility - "Acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming any misfortune", William Joyce.

There is much study done in personality profiling, and psychological assessments that will allow one to understand better their character traits, needs and preferences.  With this information you are more empowered to understand why you`ll make certain choices, and why other options never seem to make sense to you.  If you are someone who needs the contact of others in a social environment will often make decisions relating to that need.  When you find yourself in a situation that you can`t understand how you got there, it is quite likely a personality trait or need that has brought you into this situation.  We can take the time to learn what is deep set in our psyche and as such be able to understand what underlying needs will play a role in our decision making.

Myers Briggs: http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/

I find my need for human contact (as a good friend of mine recently pointed out), has played a great role in the decisions I make day to day.  Although I certainly enjoy alone time, and I`m not shy to step out of my shell and do something entirely alone - including travel, big purchases, and weighty decisions - my instinct instead is to bring people to me, and share with other humans.

In short, I enjoy the journey with others, which is why, I guess, that I`m sharing these 100 days so publicly.

Each day brings about new choices. How we decide for ourselves what is right and what is wrong is a study in itself.  I think we can bring it down into very simply terms.  Will it be beneficial to us? Will it harm anyone else? Will it impact in a good way the main goals you have for yourself? Then I believe it is right.


Sometimes the decisions we make do not lead us to accomplish our goals, and in fact begin to deteriorate who we are or what we want in our lives... this is where it is extremely important to accept the journey so far as what it was, understand we can still appreciate that things we loved about getting here, but we must turn on the willpower and walk away, now that we know it is no longer a good idea.

I met a woman recently who is in a relationship where her partner is an alcoholic.  She is not ready to leave him.  Daily she is reminded of what is so tragic in this life, and how she is faced with the decision to leave.... and she needs to gather what she knows and make the choice that is right for her.  We can all sit back and judge, but truly, only her instincts and her own knowledge of the situation is able to make the appropriate decision for her.

I would want to say to her, that her journey is what is most important.  She cannot know what is to come, but she should value what good has come from her relationship so far, with no regrets as to past opportunities to make a decision that can only be made today.  Today she needs to look at whether the relationship is beneficial to her, what harm is it causing to her, to him; what does she need to do to ensure her security and safety and allow her to make the right decision for her today... I hope that they will find a way to succeed in finding happiness in their lives.

I think regret is a waste of breath, so I push it away.  I do appreciate the journey here, as each of our days teaches us something new about ourselves and others.  I will continue to take the time to TRY to make decisions that are healthy for me, and most of all,  I will continue to work HARD on stopping the slippery slope of doubting my decisions.  If I took the time to think it through, why is it worth doubting now?  It isn`t.
Goodbye past... you are gone to me now.