This letter never got sent... however, I have been assured that our Nelia is looking down on us tonight, and that she will see and feel every word that I write. I sure hope so, as although she would never have liked the publicity, nor approved of such internet use and excess attention - the story needs to be told.
Dear Nelia,
I know you can hear me, perhaps you’ll even be able to show
me that you are here. I’m listening to
Dancing Queen right now. I loved when we
performed that one. I especially was mesmerized by the harmonies when we sang high together. I dug
around my house tonight and can’t for the life of me find our tape. We have that one video tape don’t we? I bet
it would be fun to watch it again. I
wish I could have watched it with you. We
would have laughed together. You had a
beautiful laugh Nelia. I loved how shy
you were, yet you were one of the greatest voices I’d ever heard. You had the depth and control of Barbara Streisand. I was so inspired by you vocally. Do you remember how we met ? I was singing
acapella for the church at the Saturday night mass. I loved “I am the bread of life” and sang
that one often. Perhaps it was that song that inspired Greg and yourself to
approach me and ask me to join your trio.
I was delighted to be asked. I was
so young, so lacking in lessons yet to be learned. You would tolerate me, and my naiveté. You mothered me as much as you were my
friend. We practiced at least once per
week, maybe more. My memory isn’t as it
used to be. Who am I kidding, my memory has never been good. I looked forward to getting together. You were such a great singer, I learned so
much working with you. How to beathe,
how to hold and carry the sounds. How to harmonize. Greg had a good hand in that as he created
all the harmonized parts and sang them out on tapes for us to practice to. I was so scared to disappoint you! Now, I am listening to “knowing me, knowing
you” and really I miss singing those lines!! Greg was an amazing musician to
perform with wasn’t he? He WAS the band. The drummer, the guitarist, the
flutist (is that a word?), the saxophonist, the keyboardist and the mixer… oh
yes, he was also the male voice and backup harmonist for our trio. I came into replace Gladys, Greg’s sister who
had moved onto other things. What a
lucky girl I was. You were my
family. Being with you and your family
inspired me to want one also. A large
family I thought! The Bourassa’s were really generous to take me in one
Christmas and welcome me to their dinner party.
I thought that night that 5 children would be wonderful. What I later didn’t plan well was the
choosing of the father, but that is another story too foolish to discuss
here. Besides, I love my children and
couldn’t possibly waste a second contemplating regret. We must move forward and not waste time in
our past errors. I think I learned that
one from you also. At your home, I loved
spending time with both Brendan and James – such sweet guys. I loved that you
invited me to attend with you when you wanted to take him to Walt Disney World
and Greg was too overwhelmed by work projects to go. I hope you loved it as much as I did – I know
Brendan had the greatest time. I felt honoured to be your friend and
cherished those times we had together. I
hadn’t realized how far apart our ages were, you must have found me so foolish
at times – but I truly admired your spirit, and your opinions on how to carry
ourselves and how to treat others with deep respect – “Do not disown anyone”…
you would tell me. If someone would
approach and say “what a lovely son you have” I was to respond, “he is lovely,
thank you” – even when it wasn’t my son… “do not disown them”… I still believe
in that expression – and tell the story to everyone who cares to listen. I’ve never forgotten the meaning of
protecting people’s sensitivities and being true to them. Age was nonexistent for you, it was who and
what you believed you were, not your age or your past that mattered. I still also carry those values with me. They carry me. They keep me young as they
kept you young. I’ve taught these same values to my children,
and watch them carry them through their lives.
The inspiration doesn’t end there.
Food, drink. These are other
areas where your care and consideration for the best sank into my very
pores. I still think Raspberry Chocolate
coffee with crumpets spread with jam is the very best treat in the world. To this day, I eat very healthy and take
exceptional care in my choices for food – this began with you. When I tell people that you inspired and
influenced so much of who I am – this letter is only scraping the surface of
the depth that I am referring to. Our
long conversations about children and the impact on their lives in the first 5
years – how sensitive those first 5 years really are - was in my mind and heart
every day I raised my three children. I
was so careful to never be neglectful but to encourage and love them so that
they would grow up with confidence. I
wish you could have been with me more – I wish I had of found you to see you
more… but I know we both had our own lives and families to care for. In those years that we spent so many days together,
I built memories and lessons that have lasted my lifetime. Nelia, every time I sing I will think of you;
and every time I teach my children to be respectful and non-judgmental, I will
think of you; and especially… every time I look in the mirror and see the woman who
will stand up for the weak, who will fight for her family, who will speak out
for fairness and freedom, and who will love freely and vastly – I will know that
you are still with me, in my heart, as my guide. We may not have seen eye to eye on all
things, you may not have understood my love for technology, but you and I were
like minds – and I am forever grateful that you entered my life and showed me
what being a true woman, a true wife, and a true mother – were all about. Thank you Nelia. When I look up at the stars
that I see so clearly from my home out here in Dunrobin, I’ll be watching for
you – please be sure to shine down.
All my love,
Karen.
