Day 10 – Falling off the wagon
In the world
of addictions treatment, falling off the wagon or losing control of your
compulsions or addictions is not to be taken as a large long term problem, but is
considered and treated as a one time mistake that is easily corrected and you
return to your course. If taken too seriously
the addict would tend to continue to stay off the wagon, shamed and embarrassed
that they had lost control. In treatment
they call it a simple relapse , so, for example, if you had been “clean” for 25
days and you indulged one day, you would then say, I’ve been clean 26 days with
one relapse. This gives the addict the
opportunity to get right back on track and continue the course they had worked
hard to start. I use the word clean as
addictions are usually drinking or drug use; however, compulsive behaviours
like gambling, smoking, weight control, overeating, eating certain foods, and
the gambit of sexual needs (I’ve really talked enough about sex lately so I’m
skimming over this one on purpose) are all really in the same boat.
We must
allow ourselves to fail, now and again, to learn from that failure, and to get
right back up on track where we had started.
Our road has not ended, nor should we feel we are done just because we
fell off track for a particular reason.
I have
often fallen off the wagon of my training, I don’t leave my desk at work until
it’s time to leave to get my daughter, and there is no time for working out then. I get home, have dinner, have that glass of wine
and poof there will be no workout tonight.
I’ve been very solid on my plan for the last couple of months, but last
year was a different story altogether.
Each morning you have to get back up and say, today I’m back on track.
Yesterday
was supposed to be a swim day for me, today my day off – I think I’m going to
try going swimming today at 4pm to get it in… messing with the plan slightly,
but still staying mostly on track. This
is what commitment to your goals means. It means allowing yourself some
flexibility, allowing yourself to fail, allowing yourself permission to forgive
yourself and get back on track – it truly is that easy.
I find
myself falling off track of my goals for the 100 days, starting to make excuses
in my mind of what is falling off and what “technically” isn’t… yes, I’m bad, Yes, I think too much, and Yes, I won’t ever
change – but I am still in control of my path and you are too… We just have to stay focused and get right
back on the pathway we started.
So it
really doesn’t matter if you’ve failed, if you’ve been beaten, if you are
shamed. All that really matters is that you stand back up again, and try. Now is the time to get up and walk, crawl,
whatever you can manage. What has
happened in the past is gone to you, what will happen in your future is also
not yours… but what you do right this moment, is everything. So let’s visualize what we want to be, who we
want to be with, what will make life meaningful for us… and just move forward… J
One of my
own personal quotes that I repeatedly tell my children in times of strife, is
that we come from a long line of survivors (our ancestors survived the wars,
the plagues, the environment, the scarcity of food etc…) so we have the genetic
makeup for getting through these tough times.
Let’s take this life we have been granted and not let our own challenges
prevent us from living fully.
Favourite quotes:
“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.”
― Santosh Kalwar, Quote Me Everyday
“Every habit he's ever had is still there in his body, lying dormant like flowers in the desert. Given the right conditions, all his old addictions would burst into full and luxuriant bloom.”
― Margaret Atwood
And these last two … for every book addict out there :
“Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.”
― Craig Ferguson, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot
“This must be what an addict feels like, I think,
trying to fight the pull of one last, quick read. My fingers itch toward the binding, and finally, with a sigh of regret, I just grab the book and open it, hungrily reading the story.”
― Jodi Picoult, Between the Lines
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