Restricts freedom?
I really hadn't considered commitment to mean that before. It never felt like giving up freedom, but instead in the positive sense of taking on a lifestyle that would meet the goal.
On reflection of this definition, I have to agree that the underlying reason a true commitment works is that you are giving up your freedom to do anything you want and promising yourself to behave only in the way in which you will meet your goal, your obligation, your responsibility, your end.
High performance in a race requires commitment to the training required to get there. I have committed to the Full Ironman next year. That means, beginning in January, there are no more excuses, no cheating, no falling off the plan, I must restrict my freedoms to do as I please, to sleep in every day, to eat whatever I want, to sit around and watch TV - none of those will occur. Instead they are replaced with commitment to my schedule, waking up at 5am every day to ensure I get the extra hour of training in, being so tired at night, I don't ever watch TV (except the hockey game - I love watching the hockey games... until they go into overtime, and I fall asleep....)
Commitment to a relationship is much the same isn't it? We give up the freedom to do as we please, to come and go as we like, to make decisions without discussing them with anyone, to go on a trip to anywhere with anyone, as it pleases us, and us alone. In a committed relationship means you are no longer alone, but in a partnership where decisions, choices and actions are made in a duet that works and breathes together.
Commitment to anything requires making the right choices every day. There is no longer right, or wrong but those such choices that either take you to the goal or take you from the goal. Being confronted with options, differing opinions, and the challenges of our weaknesses. Staying the course of that commitment is the biggest challenge we face.
The most important element here, is that without a goal, there isn't commitment. How can you know what actions to take that would indicate commitment, without knowledge of the goal in which you were seeking?
You must first have the goal. The goal to remain in a relationship for instance. The definition of what that relationship looks like, would need to be discussed between the two (assumed) people within the relationship. Otherwise it is a goal without any scope. It would be saying I'd like to run a race. What race? How far? Where is the race? How would I know how to commit to training for a race, if I hadn't determined when, where, and how long the race would be? As such, you cannot commit to a relationship if you have not discussed the terms of that relationship.
You must first have the desire, show the intent to get there, know your goal, create a clear description of that goal with a scope of what it looks like, then you can take the appropriate actions to commit to it.
Only when you know the course, can you stay on it.
In training, I know what I want. I know what I wish to achieve. I want to complete an Ironman. I want to place in my age group, and qualify to race in Kona, Hawaii. I know what it will take to commit to this goal. It will be hard, but I'm no defeatist. I'm going to give it everything I've got to get there. The rewards of my training far outweigh the freedoms I am foresaking.
In love, I know what I want. I know what I wish to achieve. I want someone in my life that I am incredibly proud of, who feels very lucky to have me in their life. I know what it will take to commit to this goal. :) It will be hard, but I'm no defeatist. I'm going to give it everything I've got to get there. The rewards of love far outweigh the freedoms I am foresaking.
You fill in your own blanks... and most of all, stay the course:
In _________ I know what I want. I know what I wish to achieve. I want _______________. I know what it will take to commit to this goal. :) It will be hard, but I'm no defeatist. I'm going to give it everything I've got to get there. The rewards of _______ far outweigh the freedoms I am foresaking.
Best of luck!!
xo
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