11 days remain - 89 days of 100 - I don't go back

Tomorrow I'll begin with the countdown, of the 10 greatest lessons I've learned on this journey. Today I want to recollect the 11th day of my 100 days of me.  I was looking introspectively at how I made decisions and then questioned the merit of them, down into outright feeling embarrassed by them and wishing I hadn't made that choice.  I noted that I felt it important to make the decision and don't look back, live in the moment, and do not accept regret as an option.

I haven't looked back in the last 80 plus days.  I have looked at the blogs I wrote to remind myself what my goals were but in my own journey, I have not looked back.  Not once in fact.  This is partly due to the positive approach I've given to myself, but another largely contributing factor is the promise I made myself years ago - I don't go back.  

This applies to the simplest things like passing a gas station and deciding I'll stop at the next one rather than turn around.  Forgetting something at home and deciding I will make due without it as I will not drive back to get it.  To the more complicated things like forgetting bad things that have happened to me, moving on from a relationship and not looking back, forgetting the stress of the harm that may have been caused to me and being social with those people I would have otherwise been forever upset with.  I haven't necessarily forgiven them, I just don't give any energy to remembering, worrying, or focusing on the negative. I move on... I let it all go....

I don't go back.

I do not regret my decisions. 

An ex is an ex for a reason... 

“Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror" - Colin Powell

This may sound silly but it has been my saving grace throughout my life.  I spend all my energy looking ahead, thinking about what is important, what would make me happy, who is a good friend and worthy of my time, and what adventures I will get involved in to add value to my life and to those around me.  I am a runner... I run to get to the finish line, I do not look over my shoulder at the racers behind me.  I may hear them, I may feel them breathing, but I never look back.  I push myself forward faster believing they may catch up to me - they may not even be there.... 

We don't always know where we are headed, and we certainly can't tell if it is the right path.  There are plenty of risks and chance for pain along the way, but we must stay steady on the course.  We will know when it is not the right way, and can redirect anytime.  There is always time to change our course but do so without regret to what could have been - that does not belong to us.

There is a song by Doris Day that was one of my favourites as a little girl.  My grandmother used to sing it to me, and it truly embodes that sense of not worrying for the future, and certainly not looking back at the past:

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love

I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead

Will we have rainbows, day after day

Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

- We will never know for sure, but it is worth it to just keep moving forward.  To not know is part of the dance. Live, love, and laugh with no regrets.

"Yes my life is better left to chance, I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance" - Garth Brooks

xo